The psychological guilt after masturbation often stems from the sexual stigmatization of social culture, the wrong ideas in personal growth, or the over-moralization of behavior. The following is a scientific method based on psychological research and sex education to help you look at masturbation rationally and relieve negative emotions:
1. Accept the naturalness of physiological needs
• Masturbation is an innate sexual exploration instinct of human beings. About 90% of people in the world will experience it in their lifetime (WHO data).
• Key reminder: There is no right or wrong in sexual impulse and sexual behavior itself, only whether it conforms to personal wishes and comfort.
2. Distinguish between facts and rumors
• Common rumors: "Masturbation will make people become waste" and "Masturbation causes premature ejaculation/impotence".
• Scientific rebuttal: Moderate masturbation will not damage sexual function, but help to understand the body's response (such as the study of the International Journal of Sexual Medicine).
3. Redefine "purity" and "morality"
• The value of sexual behavior lies in the willingness and respect of both parties, not a single physiological behavior. Masturbation is part of self-exploration and has nothing to do with morality.
1. Allow yourself to feel emotions
• Acknowledge the existence of shame: Tell yourself "I feel guilty now, this is a normal emotional response."
• Avoid repression: Repressing emotions may increase anxiety, and you can release inner conflicts by writing a diary or meditating.
2. Self-dialogue and forgiveness
• Specific words:
• "I have the right to explore my body, which does not mean that I am a loser."
• "My value does not depend on a certain behavior, but on the overall lifestyle and character."
3. Divert attention
• Invest in hobbies: Sports, painting, music, etc. can divert excessive attention to masturbation.
• Volunteering: Gain a sense of accomplishment by helping others and rebuild a sense of self-worth.
1. Learn scientific sex education
• Book recommendations:
• "Heidi's Sex Report" (female perspective), "Kinsey Report" (male perspective).
• "From Diapers to Dating" (a guide to adolescent sex education).
• Authoritative resources: World Health Organization (WHO) sexual health page, Planned Parenthood popular science video.
2. Distinguish between "desire" and "compulsion"
• Healthy masturbation: voluntary exploration, no persistent fatigue or anxiety after completion.
• Compulsive behavior: repeated implementation due to guilt, requiring psychological counseling intervention (such as cognitive behavioral therapy).
1. Find empathy communities
• Online communities: such as Reddit's r/sexuality (anonymous sharing of experiences), domestic formal sex education platforms (such as "Zhixing Community").
• Offline activities: participate in activities of sexual minority groups (LGBTQ+) or sexual health advocacy organizations to reduce isolation.
2. Communicate openly with people you trust
• Select the person you want to talk to: choose an open and rational friend, doctor or psychologist.
• Example of a conversation:
• "I've been confused about my sexual behavior lately. Can I talk to you about it?"
• "I hope you can tell me objectively what effect masturbation will have on the body?"
1. Ritualize "self-reconciliation"
• Do a small thing that symbolizes "self-acceptance" after masturbation, such as making a cup of hot tea or listening to a favorite song.
• Write down the positive experience of the day (such as "Today I learned to relax myself").
2. Create positive associations
• Associate masturbation with self-care, not shame. For example:
• "This is a way for me to take care of myself."
• "By exploring my body, I understand my needs better."
3. Limit stimulating content
• Reduce exposure to pornography, avoid linking masturbation with performative content, and return to pure self-exploration.
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